he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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