this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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