I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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