this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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