When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize