can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize