I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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