If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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