Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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