508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
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hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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