I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize