I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a dumb baby whore.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize