I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
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I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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