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Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
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