Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if only i could text you this smell
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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