i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
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