angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize