Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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