I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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