the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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