Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
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ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
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Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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