I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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