bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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