he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
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He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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