she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
why do cheetos always look like penises
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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