He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize