You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize