After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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