We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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