Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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