TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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