i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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