I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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