I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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