just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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