WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
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my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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