You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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