I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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