If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I am one with the molecules
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize