I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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