I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he thought i was a dude.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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