i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
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Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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