I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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