i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize