You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
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I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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