Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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