why do cheetos always look like penises
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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