You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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