God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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