P.S. I can't hear my feet
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize